Trump is a name that will be remembered for many things. Real Estate developer, fashion-agnostic hair style wearer, TV celebrity, orange puffy blowhard, humble citizen, and uh, prognosticator of prognosticators. Or maybe that’s Punxatawny Phil. Either way, the most recent event he’ll be remembered for, and possibly the most consequential, is the complete destruction and separation of the Republican Party. Now, this was not a party in possession of a stable foundation to begin with, but when the party leaders essentially tell party members not to vote for someone, while the base does exactly that, you’ve got a bit of a problem. And that is the issue at hand: the Republican Party is like the tribes north of the Wall in Game of Thrones. Family value Christians, financially conservative citizens, racists, average Joes, Libertarians, Evangelicals… all these tribes have been held together despite their differing opinions because of their common goal: to continue being relevant in the modern age. People like Ronald Reagan and the Bush dynasty helped keep them together, but Trump has decimated the crack in the armor. The party is retreating into its core segments, and how things turn out from here is a prediction that eludes even the most seasoned political scientists. Don’t worry, the Devil’s Advocates are on the case to offer their ill-informed, unsolicited opinion on the subject.
With so much screaming coming from Trump and the Republican factions, one feels that a nice sedative is in order. As it so happens, Ben had to return to the hospital last week for a major complication with his surgery, and this time it was so bad that pumping him full of morphine didn’t even touch the pain that he was in. Once doctors realized how bad his pancreatitis was, and that he was closer to death than they were comfortable revealing, they gave the green light to start pumping him full of the last resort drug used in these situations. Imagine morphine synthesized and amplified ten times over, and what that might feel like. This is a great thing, because Ben’s hospital roommate was an aggressive gang member who may or may not have wanted Ben dead. Luckily Ben was too high to know or care about this. If you need a better description of what it actually felt like to be on this drug, listen on as Ben describes it in an eloquent, thorough manner that only he is capable. Vaginas are used as adjectives a lot.
After that little journey to heaven, Ben has a nightmare after watching the Republican Debates. He dreamt that Ted Cruz became president, and a secret plot was afoot similar to Order 66 in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. What sort of evil plan is Ted Cruz playing at, and what happens to the hosts in this nightmare? It’s a chilling story, not least of all because it’s starting to seem like a possible future in the current political climate. Prepare to shiver from the fresh fallen snow in the aftermath of a nightmare too vivid to ignore. Ben’s Nightmare is a journey straight into the depths of hell for those of us that aren’t part of the Christian majority… which I’m guessing is most of you, since you listen to this awful show.