VR Porn has been the dream all men have lusted after ever since that scene in Demolition Man with Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock. We’re getting dangerously close with the advent of the Oculus Rift, and people everywhere should be concerned that potential partners aren’t going to take their crap anymore. Once they can just be single and, with a decent automatic sex toy, simulate sex close enough to not care about trying to maintain a miserable relationship, the entire institution of marriage might start to break down. Good riddance. One of the most responsible companies for this paradigm shift is Badoink, the clear leader in quality VR porn for all devices. If you’re getting into VR porn, do yourself a favor and don’t waste time trying to figure out where to get it. As you’ll hear on the show, Badoink is the best place to get VR porn – it’s the highest quality out there. 4k, 60fps, 3D, 180 degree bliss. Say goodbye to your wife.
Virtual reality is one of those ideas that’s been around for decades and thought to be the future of humanity, like self-driving cars or equality. With the commercial production of VR hardware like Oculus Rift, HTC Vive, Samsung Gear, and Google Cardboard, we’ve been given hope that virtual reality might actually be a thing we get to experience in this lifetime. In the early 90s virtual reality was portrayed as a goofy experience with a cumbersome headset and odd hand motions, at least in that one Aerosmith video. Interestingly enough, that’s exactly how it ended up being now that we have working versions of it. Nothing makes you look dumber than trying to grab a virtual boob with complete concentration, but with the way things have been going, living in virtual reality probably beats waiting to see what 2017 has in store.
One of the largest draws of virtual reality is VR porn. In an effort to help mankind, we have acquired an Oculus Rift and tweaked a PC to meet the ridiculous requirements to run it. Over the next few months, or forever if our girlfriends leave us, we’ll be trying out some VR Porn to see how good it is, what can be improved upon, and how difficult it is to catch your gism in a paper towel when you can’t see. I wonder if subscriptions to Badoink and VRporn count as tax write offs for the show’s parent company…
One pornographic source that never fails to disappoint is Ariana Grande. She dresses in extremely provocative outfits, sings about wanting to bang hot guys, and has an eternal look of being a teenager. You might think someone like this wouldn’t be surprised when someone refers to them as being “sexy as hell” and being jealous when someone is “hitting that.” You might even think she might be flattered, since that’s mostly what she’s putting out there for humanity to judge her on. You’d be WRONG- ARIANA GRANDE IS NOT A PIECE OF MEAT TO BE OBJECTIFIED. Now, watch this music video of her humping an exercise bike and think wholesome thoughts.