In the world of ISIS, or ISIL, or just radical Islam, beheading someone is punishment for what they view as heinous crimes. Things like being an infidel, or cheating on your husband, or borrowing a pen and forgetting to give it back can all potentially get you de-nogginized. Then some run-of-the-mill non-ISIS – ISIL Muslim dude in Oklahoma got fired Friday, and he reacted as any rational person would. He went into work and killed people, beheading one woman and stabbing someone else. We were seriously wondering, why is it always with the beheading and the extreme violence? People will say that it’s only radical Islamists and not nice peaceful Muslims, and to an extent we agree- but less of an extent than other cultures. Before the social justice warriors crucify us through powerful, meaningful channels like Twitter or Tumblr, it is worth taking the time to review some… uh, what’s that stuff when you research something and prove it? Ah yes, facts, that was it. Pew studies have been conducted that confirm the majority of non-radical Muslims in many of the middle eastern countries think that stoning people to death for various non-violent crimes is a pretty dandy solution.
So, we’re here this week to deal with this delicate subject matter in the best way we know how: joking and laughing about it with horribly offensive commentary and parodies. The media is referring to that main ISIS / ISIL guy who does the beheading videos as Jihad John. You might think Jihad John is a terrible man with no redeeming qualities who might just be evil incarnate, but after you listen to this episode you’ll come to know and love Jihad John the party animal! Get a few drinks in this guy and suddenly he’s the keg stand champion who brings all the bitches to the party!
That’s moderately offensive to people, probably, but let’s not rest on our laurels. Let’s make sure we’ve definitely offended everyone- listen to us describe a parody video we want to make in which we mimic the beheading videos, with the victim being none other than Ernie from Bert and Ernie. It’ll give kids nightmares, but sociopath adults should find it pretty entertaining. They tend to be our target demo, so we’re just trying to give the listeners what they want.