Bill Cosby hasn’t quite been proven of raping the binders full of women yet, but his legacy is pretty much gone after it was uncovered that he at least admitted to acquiring substances to try and get girls passed out for some of the hibbity poppity jello pudding pop. What Bill Cosby has really done, in our opinion that is based on no facts whatsoever, is pulled off some ultra Andy Kaufman level comedy. Think about it: a multiple decades long con convincing America of Bill Cosby’s moral superiority and loving father figure image, only to literally rape it away. How can it not be the ultimate joke ever performed? I’m still convinced Bill Cosby will pop out at any moment and shout “What do I call it? The aristocrats!”
In our continuing and cutting edge coverage of Donald Trump’s march to triumph as president of the United States of America, we examine the newest debacle: Trump vs. Huffington Post. The blog turned news outlet, depending who you ask, announced they would no longer cover Trump in their politics section, but only in their entertainment section. They declared Trump’s bid “a sideshow.” A current frontrunner sideshow, it’s worth noting. Hey HuffPo – if you’re gonna be a news outlet, you have to act like one. Opining on the state of politics is John Stewart’s and The Devil’s Advocates job. Really, you won’t report it in politics because it’s embarrassing? Where the hell have you been for the last 20 years? I still have PTSD from Sarah Palin, but you reported that. Grow up and do what news outlets do… or keep proving Trump right, calling you a glorified blog.
Have you ever wondered how to learn to love yourself and the world around you? Yeah neither have we, but a trite clickbait article we came across was so awful we had to discuss it. It ended up being so awful we couldn’t even finish it, which is quite similar to how most women feel in bed with me.
It’s been a few weeks since a good cringe story from Ben’s childhood, and since he seemingly has an endless supply, he regales us with the tale of his first encounter with the games “spin the bottle” and “7 minutes in heaven.” You might think that you’ve thought of every possible scenario in which one could fail at “seven minutes in heaven, but you’d be wrong. After hearing this story, you will go from pitying Ben to downright hating him for his complete and utter failures at things that he didn’t even deserve in the first place. This one will really make you wince with pain, so psych yourself into it and get ready to hear just how badly a 13 year old boy can embarrass himself. Until the next story, at least.