The TV Show Friends was a big hit in the 90s, partially because it embodied so much of what the 90s were all about. Drinking overpriced coffee, sitting around and wasting time, and falling ass-backwards into amazing careers were some of the staples of the show and the decade. Of course, we all know the real reason Friends was a hit was because it led into Seinfeld, which probably could’ve made this stupid podcast a hit if we led into it. Anyway, Friends was a pretty cheery romp through 30 minutes of adorable white people problems, but someone on the Internet came up with a brilliant, sad, creepy alternate ending to the show Friends that would’ve cast it in such a dark, depressing shadow that we immediately loved it and attempt to act out the last episode using the alternate ending. Yet another thing from your childhood we’ll help ruin. (Remember the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Episode? Or the recent Berenstain bears fiasco? You’re welcome.)
Friends aren’t the only thing depressing on this episode. Last week a reasonable fellow gunned down two people on live TV in Virginia, then uploaded his own recording of it in case the live close up wasn’t enough coverage of gruesome death. Why would someone do such a thing? Well, reading through his 23 page manifesto gives us a few clues… the line “you want a race war? I’ll give you one!” seems like it might be relevant. Oh yeah, he was black and the victims were white. I guess that matters, given his intentions. He ended up getting caught so he killed himself rather than be taken in. I’m sure there’s a lesson in all of this, but good luck finding it under the noise of a fresh gun rights debate flaring up across the country. This time, however, one key point makes the argument a fair fight- the gun was purchased legally for the purpose of killing these people. It wasn’t stolen, borrowed, or otherwise misbegotten. So gun control may have, in this situation, prevented it. Probably not though. Feel free to join in the discussion on your Facebook timeline with all the other reasonable opinions on the subject.
Ronda Rousey is everyone’s new favorite heroine. She beats people up really hard and really fast. A natural role model if ever there was one. She’s inspired many women, including Joanna Angel, the very successful porn star. The Ronda Rousey Porn Parody – Aurora Snow, The Daily Beast by friend of the show Aurora Snow, Joanna Angel is making a parody movie to honor the badass fighter chick. She will call it Ronda ArouseMe. I’m not sure what the plot is, but I’m pretty sure fighting and fucking will somehow cross paths.
The MTV VMAs happened, I guess. None of us have watched it in many years, because a TV station giving awards to something that isn’t played on the TV station seems strange, but I guess this stuff is still going on. We look through the roster of candidates to try and see if we still know who the popular acts are in music and the songs that are topping the charts. How did we do? Let’s just say… we are old. Very, very old. You know who’s not old? Selena Gomez, who has Selena Gomez – Good For You. This made us realize we’ve never, ever had someone feel that way about us, and it made us very sad.