Bill Paxton died. So that’s sad. Many of our favorite quotes come from Bill Paxton movies, and this week we honor him in a very special way. Meanwhile, a free press is the cornerstone to a democracy. This opinion is widely help by those not in a vegetative state, and even shares supporters on both sides of the political aisle. Trump says the press is the enemy of the people. Most of the American people are still busy laughing about how stupid and horrifying our new president is, but the laughing should probably stop now, because the idea of free press just died in front of eyes. Trump refused to let in the media outlets that he doesn’t like because they’re not nice. CNN, the New York Times, BBC and others were not allowed in to the informal press conference. That’s how you start a dictatorship, but hey whatever let’s all route for La La Land in the Oscars, it’s a magical journey of two impossibly attractive people facing marginal levels of adversity for about an hour. Nothing to see here, folks.
The Oscars are stupid and pointless, much like the title suggests. Getting awards for doing your job is kind of like… well, it must be like something. The big topic this year is how there are no black nominees, and Chris Rock did an average at best job with this ripe material. There’s really not much to say about this, but it’s topical and coming up with keywords for search engines is annoying so… The Oscars is the subject at hand this week!
Far more noticeable than the lack of anything interesting to say about The Oscars, however, is that this week’s show is shorter than usual. It also has two fewer hosts than normal. Yes, it’s finally come to this: it’s just Ben and a microphone this week. Why? Because a proper podcast couldn’t be recorded. Why? Because Ben was in the hospital yet again. Why? Because he had more stones left in his body and they once again blocked his bile ducts. So, there was no way to record an episode this week unless Ben did it alone on Sunday night when he got home from the hospital. So that’s exactly what he did. Why one man is so dedicated to such a pointless endeavor is both inspiring as a testament to doing what you love, and offensive as a waste of resources. But it’s done, so here it is.
The Oscars have been around for almost 100 years. When they started, it was a different time- white men ran everything, and black people didn’t have the same rights as whites. Fast forward to 2016 where we have equal rights and the leadership landscape looks much more diverse, but someone forgot to tell the Oscars, because their governing board and branches and whatever other ridiculous governing bodies that exist for the purpose of handing out little man statues have not changed at all. The people in charge of the Oscars are still almost 100% white- just like 100 years ago! We discuss whether everyone is overreacting to the situation, or if action is called for. More importantly, however, we discuss why on Earth anyone gives a shit what this doddering group of old men does or says. They are the most smug, pretentious and unnecessary group of anything ever. I suggest focusing on ticket sales or at least rotten tomatoes as your barometer of movie-making self-worth. However, Ben decides to try and solve the equality problem anyway with a plan that leads to a massive screaming match debate. Turn your volume down.
Every once in a while the planets will align, and someone who is significantly better looking than you that you find on okcupid or eharmony will think that you’re an appropriate dating partner for them. This should be a very desirable position to be in as the less stunning of the two potential dating partners, but in reality it is usually an extremely stressful, intimidating situation that results in nervous pacing, over thinking, critical self-doubt, and constant vomiting. Unless you’re actually mentally stable, unlike Ben. Ben finds himself in a terribly awkward situation where a beautiful, stunning girl agrees to go on a date with him, and Ben doesn’t really understand why. Nevertheless, he goes forth to do his best. What follows is yet another classic Ben story of hope, loss, excitement, depression, embarrassment and extremely comical moments as he tries to maneuver his way through this date that he has o business being on. Prepare to laugh and cringe when you hear what happens when Ben realizes she’s out of his league.