Jared Fogle is having a rough year. First, his charity director gets caught with child porn. Then, Subway fires him as their spokesperson or from having anything to do with them in general. Then, Jared Fogle himself gets caught actually attempting to have sex with underage girls. I don’t know what’s in that Subway bread, but whatever the secret sauce is has nothing on Jared Fogle’s own secret sauce. That is to say, his recipe for finding and sexually assaulting children. It’s interesting when someone that we all kind of think is probably a huge creep, like Jared Fogle, turns out to be every bit the creep we thought they were. There are many theories on why someone gives off a creepy vibe, but in Jared Fogle’s case there seems to be a lot of thoughts about how someone goes through their life as a morbidly obese person and never getting to have any romantic endeavors. Perhaps this leads to someone never developing mentally beyond the point of wanting younger people because they never got to live that part of life. Or, maybe no one cares why because it’s still gross and messed up and unforgivable. You know, either way.
We come across an article that claims to explain the 7 Mistakes Losers Make. Specifically male losers who can’t get a girlfriend, which certainly qualifies as Ben and Chris. So, we take a look at the article. It’s full of clichéd, stupid rules that sound like they’re taken right out of a teen rom-com. Ben gets enraged at the idiotic advice, so he goes to see just who wrote this article. Apparently it’s a morbidly obese man, who is indeed a doctor of psychology, who is gay and married. While I’m sure the man is an accomplished, intelligent individual, it seems odd that he would give advice on how to stop being a loser with the ladies. He really would have no clue, after all. You can guess where things go from here- down the rage spiral.
Speaking of going down spirals, Ben and Josh get into a debate about who is the more damaged of the two. The criteria this particular time is the degree of how messed up their dreams are. They both get into some pretty disturbing territory, but neither of them are willing to share their absolute worst nightmares for fear of how it will make people view them. It leaves a sort of fearful and uncertain taste in everyone’s mouth, wondering just what horrific nightmares are locked inside Ben and Josh’s heads. Happy Halloween you ghouls.