Sometimes in this life we as simple humans are presented with situations that call into question everything we’ve ever known. Much like how someone may experience an unexplainable event and find god, we are given precious few opportunities to peek beyond the veil around us and see the magic of the universe. We here at The Devil’s Advocates participate in the religion of Exotic Dancing, and we pray every weekend at our church, the strip club. Rather than priests or rabbis or imams we get our inspiration from strippers, the angel-like creatures who inhabit our church. They fill us with hope, beauty and increased blood flow to our genitalia. However, it is widely known that these beautiful creatures we lovingly refer to as strippers cannot be loved or appreciated like other humans. Just as angels touch us in many ways we can’t interact with, strippers also touch us in many ways we can’t interact with. Mostly because the bouncers will throw you out if you try. However, there has long been a myth that a select few individuals who are worthy may be able to actually interact with and “date” a stripper as if they were a normal person.
Long rumored to be impossible, our very own co-host Ben was able to touch one of these beautiful creatures and found the presence of god in a lap dance on Halloween night. The story of that night and the next couple months that followed is told this podcast episode for the non-believers. Sometimes magic can occur in this world, and with no rational explanation whatsoever a beautiful, angelic stripper will date a mere mortal. Forget everything you know, and prepare to believe in miracles when you listen to The Stripper Story: Long Lost Love in a Lap Dance.
Also this week we discuss the plus size model (size 22) that was signed to a real agency with regular size models, and how this boosted her self esteem and the self esteem of all her fatty brethren. Nothing is wrong with a little self esteem boost, but when it empowers people to believe that their gelatinous mass is actually sexy or desirable, that’s where the trouble starts. Some people are big tubby supporters of the fat pride movement, or the HAES (health at every size) movement which serves to make it so that fat people too can be desirable for their looks. The problem of course is that even if they make all the movements in the world, including bowel, it won’t make people suddenly be attracted to fat. We are genetically inclined to be attracted to thin for survival and evolutionary reasons. So, we’re here to rain on their fatty parade this week as we discuss the subject and inadvertently come up with a solution to the world’s energy crisis: The Fatrix. Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Fatrix is. You have to hear it yourself.