When you look at videos of radical Muslims practicing their AK-47 skills in preparation of their destruction of America, don’t fret and sleep soundly at night, because the TSA are the watchers on the wall. The TSA is made up mostly of people who couldn’t find work as sanitation engineers, but are still capable of wearing a uniform and being lazy. At this point we have to prepare ourselves for their inspection to a largely unfair degree; getting partially disrobed and scanned by radiation machines so that the humans won’t actually have to do anything. There seems to be a lot of standing around. I could live with this, but for having a fairly pointless job with no effort, the TSA seems to be made up of a lot of angry people who would just assume spit on you as screen you. Why the negative attitude, TSA employees? I know it seems depressing that all your dreams faded away when you had a kid at 17 and now your wife or husband is a fat mess who kind of wishes you were dead while drinking away the cells that hold memories, but look at the bright side: everyone in the world hates you so much that if you were on fire, we’d only try to put you out with kerosene. This may seem like an overreaction, but that can only be because you’ve never flown on a plane post-9/11, you rube. Listen to Ben’s story of getting harassed by the TSA and see if you don’t agree. As fun as it is to think of Ben getting molested by an old man, you have to admit if it were someone you actually liked, you’d be angry.
The airport antics don’t end there! In his travels this week, Ben also encountered some of the most enraging tourist crap you can imagine while going through the airports. Moms with selfie sticks, girls in ugg boots and yoga pants, business travelers using douche terminology to sound important… the airport is a parade of horror and most likely the future of America. So, pay attention listeners, because sooner or later the entire world will be locked down security run by incompetent boobs who can only direct you to an overpriced world of commerce while you wait for a flight to some other shithole that’s just as bad. Is this a metaphor for life? Is it a glimpse into the future of America? Is it the start of Idiocracy? Yes.