Tila Tequila was one of the first people to become “Internet Famous.” She had a lot of friends on myspace. Back in the mid 2000s, that’s really all it took. In an attempt to avoid ending up in the $5 bargain bin of Internet memes alongside the chocolate rain guy, she got on an MTV game show and tried to be interesting enough to be relevant. When all that failed, as it inevitably does, she was spit out the bottom of the porn industry where she belongs with the teen moms and Kardashians. Two surprisingly decent sex tapes later, Tila Tequila remains popular and interesting on modern social media, mainly twitter. Many people think Tila Tequila has devolved into a schizophrenic lunatic spouting gibberish at every turn. This is correct, but what happens when the gibberish starts to sound more intelligent that the easily offended, ratings-hungry media? You’re left in an awkward position: defending an idiot who should be handing you a delicious Frosty from Wendy’s, not making social commentary to millions. However, awkward positions and defending idiots are the entire premise of our show, so here we are. Enjoy the devil’s advocates’ take on Tila Tequila and her stupid but maybe sort of perfect defense regarding her usage of igga-nay.
Just as we’re showering off the shame of defending Tila Tequila, who comes walking in looking for sympathy when they normally deserve none? Why, it’s everyone’s favorite cover band groupie, Kesha! You thought speaking up for Tila Tequila was bad, but get this: Kesha, who has inflicted vast amounts of pain upon the world with her sounds that she describes as “music”, has actually been dealt a pretty crushing and unfair blow to her career and self-worth. So much so that we actually feel bad for her, and I thought that was impossible. Kesha was allegedly raped by her producer Dr. Luke, who as it turns out isn’t even a real doctor, and she is afraid to keep working with him. However, Sony has the corporate and legal might to do pretty much whatever they damn well please, and argued in court that her contract for 6 more albums with them and Dr. Luke must be upheld. The judge sided with Sony, and Kesha now continues to be contractually obligated to work with her alleged rapist… for another 6 albums, or roughly 20 years. Whichever arrives sooner. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Does anyone on the planet really want or even think Kesha has another 6 album’s worth of songs in her?” Well not with that attitude, young lady. Start writing, or else it gets the hose again. Love, Dr. Luke.
The last 8 or 9 months of podcast episodes has had a pretty central theme to much of the show narrative: Chris and Ben are losers who cannot get girlfriends and have absolutely no clue what they’re doing and are desperate and unattractive and everyone hates them and they’re depressed and they laugh at themselves so as not to have a Thelma and Louise moment. However, this week you’re about to learn something shocking. Something that is a complete surprise to two show members, and has been kept secret for a while. This secret will change the narrative and tone of the show drastically. Maybe for better, maybe for worse- but it’s a new world today, and you are not prepared for what you’re about to hear.