Brexit is the hashtag-friendly term that the Internet ran with when a complicated subject like Britain leaving the European Union needed a simple word to be referenced by social media power users, such as your 13 year-old nephew. Brexit has been talked about for months, resulting in a voter referendum to determine whether the United Kingdom should leave the European Union. No one expected it to pass; it was mostly a political move to get the conservative party to go along with staying as a meet in the middle tactic. However, give the people the power to choose things without knowing anything, and you’ll live to regret it. The United Kingdom will now be leaving the EU, and most intelligent people agree that it’s a bad idea that will result in financial instability and a more divided country and world. Sound familiar, US citizens? Let’s make America great again.
There’s plenty more horrible things going on in the world besides Brexit, so let’s not put all our pounds in one country. American is unleashing two very bad sequels to famous movies. First on the list is Independence Day: Resurgence, which finds our heroes from the original Independence Day defending against a much larger, scarier, more ridiculous invasion. By most tomato-loving reviewers it’s an unworthy sequel, filled with ridiculous explosions and technology and cheesy lines and multiple sub-plots that try to cater to a lot of different movie-goers. In other words, it’s been engineered to be successful. Perhaps a few notes could be taken by the creators of the new Ghostbusters movie, which looks to be engineered for failure. Weird-looking special effects, trailers without anything funny, and a new theme song that ramps up the douche chills to 11. Good luck recovering from this Fall Out Boy; at least Missy Elliot has street cred and black people will never see this movie so they’ll never know she participated in this failed experiment.
Do you want to lose weight and be skinny, but continue eating delicious treats like the new Burger King Mac and Cheetos? Well, you’re in luck! America, the country that brought you the stomach stapler, has upped the game once more. The FDA just approved a new weight loss device that lets you eat whatever you want, and a valve in your stomach can be opened to drain it out so you don’t digest any of the food. Next time you order Dominos, get an extra cheesy bread in celebration of modern science. Narcissism never tasted so good, and cost so much.