Full House was a show in the 90s that didn’t excel at anything in particular. It was a sitcom that wasn’t all that funny, or creative, or believably dramatic, or unique… and yet it had good ratings and is remembered fondly. Full House falls into that category of things that just existed at the right time to fall into the nostalgia bubble that’s currently sweeping our generation, and is thus remembered far more fondly than it deserves. So much so in fact that Netflix has created a sequel series, Fuller House, that expands on the original show about as creatively as it did the title. However, it’s not all cynicism with the new Full House. The middle daughter from the show, Stephanie Tanner – who was played by Jodie Sweetin – returns to the new show and she’s, um, all grown out. Grown up. I meant grown up. Boobs. What? OK, Jodie Sweetin turned into a smoking hot, adorably-faced, large-breasted angel. Even more amazing is that between the two iterations of the show, she was on a meth binge- yet retains none of the classic symptoms of meth addicts. Namely, looking like a meth addict. If pants were a home, I just got a Full House of my own.
Supreme commander and leader of the United States, Donald Trump, released his first campaign ad for president. For someone with billions of dollars, it looks like something the typical family’s quiet nephew makes with a GoPro and a lack of common sense. It’s amateurish, has a terrible yet somehow vague message, and apparently hiring professional voice-over actors was out of the question. How much will this poorly made ad hurt Trump? None, if history is any indication.
The biggest pop culture item this week is Making A Murderer, the Netflix documentary series that seeks to prove the controversial opinion that hicks in nowhere, Wisconsin are stupid and the justice system doesn’t work out in the sticks. It doesn’t work in urban areas either, but you don’t hear the black community complaining, do you? Mostly because they get killed by the cops before they get too vocal. However, we’re more concerned with the show’s own Chris, who we think is making a murderer of himself by attempting to give up masturbation. We fear for the nearest girl when that backup finally ruptures.
Speaking of which, VR porn is here, and it’s scary realistic. Finally. I can stop trying to date real girls. An Asian kid at CES took some VR porn for a test drive, and it looked and sounded like… an Asian kid watching VR porn. The kid loses his mind, apparently it’s that good. Totes adorbs. How do I acquire this thing immediately?
There’s a sorority at the University of Miami that released a recruitment video, and it’s gone viral because it looks like a cross between an Abercrombie & Fitch commercial and Girls Gone Wild. I think in one frame if you freeze it and look in the background you might be able to see a textbook. I’m sure it’s an accident that it ended up in the video, which doesn’t make it clear that U of M even has classes or students. It may as well be an ad to visit the playboy mansion.
Oh, and we kick off the show with Kristen Bell’s adorable naiveté. She thinks 2016 is the year of the brainy intellectual, and that bad boys will be left by the curb. How’s your brainy intellectual Dax Shepard doing, Kristen?