Bree Olson has been on and off of the D list of celebrities for years now. She was an excellent porn star, a goddess roommate to Charlie Sheen, and even made her way into a real movie or two… provided you consider Human Centipede 3 a real movie. All in all, Bree Olson has lived an exciting life and made more money than most of us. Sure, she may not be a multi-millionaire and just a regular millionaire, but sometimes when you’re depressed that you’ve built your life around porn and Charlie Sheen, you need help. Not just therapy or psychiatry, but actual rehab for your feelings. Thus, Bree Olson has embarked upon a journey to have her thousands of fans fork over the few dollars they have to send her to rehab to get in touch with her real self, and get past all this pain and sadness. In return for helping fund her, you’ll receive an auto-generated email thanking you for being an idiot.
Once you finish hate – masturbating to some classic Bree Olson clips, remember that she said in her video that she identifies as a man? Well, she’d better stay clear of North Carolina, because they’re having a hard time with gender these days. They passed a law that you have to use whatever public restroom has the same genitals that you have between your legs. For most of us, this won’t be an issue, but for those who identify as gender fluid, neutral, queer, trans, or other planetary, this is an infringement on their rights. On the one hand, you have a clear violation of people’s privacy and identities. On the other hand, who gives a shit. It’s a bathroom. All genders have the option to sit on a toilet. Is it any less awkward whether it’s guys or girls in the stall next to you? If it is, maybe you’re the problem, you anti-cis scum.
We may not be experts at very many things here on the Devil’s Advocates Show, but if there’s one thing we are experts at, it’s being creeps. In the news this week a man goes to great lengths on social media to find a girl he saw at the supermarket, because he feels that she was his true love and he needs to find her. No one ever stops to think if this person actually wants to be found, or if maybe women aren’t all here as scenery in our shitty little play, but if I had a nice ass and pretty long hair, I’d get sick of men all trying to talk to me and profess their love for me. If they tried to track me down in a public forum, I’d be pissed and would reject them on principle. Luckily I’m an average to below-average looking male, so the world leaves me the fuck alone. So, so alone.