Milo Yiannopoulos is a senior editor at Breitbart, the website that blurs the lines between conservative news and conspiracy theories. In the past year he has gained a lot of notoriety for his paradoxical and passionate viewpoints. He loves Trump and Catholics; not as big a fan of gays and transgenders. He is an openly gay man. One might say extraordinarily gay; steeped in gayness. He caused a lot of controversy by saying Leslie Jones looks like a dude and is illiterate. He’s the poster child for the saying “You’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole.” Bill Maher had him on Real Time this week and everyone lost their minds… which is exactly what he wanted. Watching people fall right into a trap set by a man of average intelligence but above average semen consumption is always a treat, but Milo Yiannopoulos may have finally met his match during the overtime clip wit Malcolm Nance. Arguing with Milo Yiannopoulos is like being called as a witness to defend yourself in court: stay calm, stick to the facts and you might just beat this thing.
Pope Francis is the most well-liked and respected pope from the last two popes, which is a low bar to be sure, but it’s still worth noting. The pope goes against many of the more traditional Catholic teachings, saying that gays and atheists and even black people can all go to Heaven if they are good people. Many conservative Christians don’t like this, but if there’s one thing Catholics can’t resist, it’s magical properties of everyday items. So, when there was a glass of water that Pope Francis had drank from, one Christian congressman swiped it, drank from it, then allowed some other people to dip their fingers in it before bottling the rest of the water to bring home to the kids. Perhaps he thought this was the ending of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and drinking Pope Francis’ water would heal his wounds and give him immortality. He’s going to be sadly disappointed when prostate cancer comes knocking.
Brooklyn is becoming a highly gentrified area with plenty of Starbucks and Chipotle restaurants. However, no one seems to appreciate the early white settlers that staked their claim in the area before it was cool to do so, thus paving the way for corporations to take our money trough moderately higher quality fast food. One young man, after getting accidentally bumped by a woman’s stroller on the street, launches into a tirade reminding all the entitled white people that they should check their privilege, because the only reason they are there is because this brave white settler chose to live in Brooklyn before it was cool. He presents some very reasonable arguments and ultimately wins over the respect of everyone nearby in a heartwarming moment where we learn that hating white people isn’t exclusive to minorities- white people are some of the best white-haters around.
When Ben is feeling down about all the failed areas of his life, he likes to go watch cringe videos of people even worse than he is. So, that’s what we do. One guy in particular, with a video called Happy Birthday Katie, exclaims his true feelings for his friend in a cringey douchey video that we make fun of without mercy. We all have a good laugh about it, until we learn that it actually worked and the guy is with the girl now. Ben then goes back to the noose-tying academy.
Some dude running a rudimentary attempt at a vigilante video network under the name johntv.com spends his days watching prostitutes propositioning men, then follows them to the spot where they’re going to get blown, and then runs up with a camera and say “busted!” and shows the license plate and the John’s face. After shoving his fake morality in everyone’s face, ruining some lives and feeling good about himself, he leaves, accomplishing nothing other than his own smug ego-stroking. Ben and Josh argue the merits of this guy’s vigilantism and whether he should be praised or chastised. Their opinions may surprise you! Or maybe they won’t, I don’t know, who cares.
Happy Halloween, listeners! Halloween is the penultimate holiday for both Josh and Ben, so they decide to discuss some ghoulish stories that will keep you up at night… don’t get spooked! Before the Halloween talk, though, they review some amusing videos making the rounds… such as fckh8.com’s feminist video exploiting little kids to sell t-shirts by swearing adorably. Seems like an ineffectual method, but from the looks of it, there’s a lot of satiated pedophiles waking up this morning. The video is full of contradictions, selective facts and half-truths, but ultimately the company is trying to make money selling t-shirts, so if you take your cue from videos like this one featuring generic tubby feminists who look like Wendy of the so-named fast food chain, you’re gonna have a bad time. It does lead to an interesting debate on the show that ends up sounding like white knight versus red pill.
Next up, since we’re talking red pills and white knights, let’s go for some other colors, like the black woman who is a racist tour bus guide in San Francisco. She does not like Asians because they make noise getting up and going to work each morning, which we all know is something black people hate. Now, what I just said is racist, but this woman’s offensive rant is not racism because she’s not white. Hey, those are the rules. I didn’t make them.
Finally we get into some spooky stories, including a list of Wikipedia pages to keep you up at night. Aliens and UFO encounters top the list, as both Ben and Josh fear this above all else and are convinced aliens exist. Other phenomenon like alternate or parallel dimensions that exist in a hell state are discussed with the creep factor turned up, such as locked-in syndrome or the man who has no idea how he got here and no one can trace his origins… it’s spooktacular! So grab some popcorn, turn out the lights, and listen along with us as we go through a Halloween adventure that will have you laughing and then crying! Crying either because the stories are so scary, or because you realize you wasted an hour and a half of your life listening to us.