Ashley Madison is the type of site we all like to hate publicly in order to seem like morally superior, but secretly we’re relieved that it exists. If you’re in a miserable marriage and don’t feel like losing half your shit or dealing with lawyers, it makes you think you at least have options. You don’t even need to use a site like Ashley Madison; just knowing it’s there can get you through those nights where you look over and realize the person you hate most on the planet is in your bed… forever. Just searching Ashley Madison can calm your nerves. Unfortunately, everything fell apart recently when hackers hacked all the hacks and hacked the site Ashley Madison Hack ruins lives. This is an excellent example of why humanity is doomed; assholes who can’t man up and just suffer the divorce will attempt to cheat on their wives, and assholes who have no respect for consequences that aren’t theirs to give take action because they’re deluded into thinking they’re the last hope of moral humans. Basically what I’m saying is, everyone everywhere is the worst… including us as we laugh at Check to see if an email address was in the Ashley Madison site on Ashley Madison.
Bill Burr on Twitter who is known for his TV appearances and conspiracy theories… but as far as I’m concerned, Bill Burr Destroys Philadelphia Crowd in Epic Rant No comedian in history has done a more brilliant, unexpected and deserved trashing of a bunch of shitty audience members. However, these days Bill Burr takes heat for making a few jokes about Caitlyn Jenner being transgender, which we all know now is considered heresy in America and punishable by death. The jokes weren’t mean, or edgy, and were genuinely funny, but social media and social justice warriors are calling him to be fired… from what, I don’t know, because he’s a comedian. They’re even mad at comfortable, milquetoast Conan O’Brian for allowing him to joke about transgender issues. Until recently I didn’t even know what transgender meant, but I certainly do now: transitioning from a gender containing a sense of humor to a gender without one.
Chris, our loyal 3rd mic perma-guest, is a depraved individual. Gluttonous for sex, hateful of attractive women, and creepy in nature, he has trouble with the ladies. Once in a while, however, he gets extremely lucky. He shares with us a story of a very successful encounter in one of his frequent depravity haunts, and the circumstances that led to this success. There were embarrassing failures along the way, and 99% of this story involve doing things no sane person would do, but ultimately Chris ended this week feeling like a man. Sadly, he probably needs to head to the clinic now asap, but fortune favors the bold. Let’s all hope for clean test results. Chris was able to be filled with pride that day. It lasted a whole 24 hours before the reality of his life crept back in and destroyed his self worth.