We’ve got a new guest on this week, so we thought we’d try to have some more intellectual discussion… within 2 minutes the conversation turned to clown rape, so the hell with that idea. Fleshlights, clown rape, pixie cuts, Katy Perry… we did a pretty damn good job of managing to not say anything smart whatsoever for an hour and a half. That’s not to say there’s not value in hearing more about clown rape in this episode than you will over the course of your entire life. Ben’s hatred of the pixie cut returns, but I’m sure he is aware of the irony of hating one physical aspect of women since they hate all physical aspects of him… but that doesn’t stop him from explaining his hatred in great deal. Then, while discussing masturbation etiquette, Ben mentions that the girl who played Neytiri in “Avatar” isn’t that great looking, but the big blue alien is and that he would have sex with the na’vi version if she was real. Apparently he’s not alone, because Fleshlight has created an Avatar fleshlight designed for those who want to have sex with a 10 foot blue alien. Or I guess maybe a smurf, I’m not sure what smurf vaginas look like but it’s probably similar.
Archives for February 2014
Once upon a time, Ben was a loser. He’s still a loser, but he’s been one for a very long time. In high school, with so few friends, he was able to pour his meticulous, OCD tendencies into his favorite game, Street Fighter 2. We talk about the one place in his childhood where he was allowed to walk as a god among men: the local arcade. Here, Ben would have people line up for the chance to play him and ultimately lose. Here, when Ben walked down the hall, he was the football hero. Street Fighter gave Ben the chance to experience the feeling of pride. Yes, it’s very, very sad that this was as close as Ben ever came to being skilled at something competitive, but if not for Street Fighter, he’d literally have nothing.
We also discuss pubic etiquette and the pros and cons of messy vs clean style choices. And the magical device known as a bidet comes up as well- as Ben says, “it feels like angels are eating your ass.” We’re very poetic on this week’s episode.
Love is in the air! No, wait, that’s sewage. Valentine’s day is this week, so we discuss the age-old question “is there someone out there for everyone?” Ben says no, Josh says yes- sort of, and both of them prove their points the only way they know how- with midgets. The discussion then turns to examine just what the hell love actually is… respect? attraction? Something intangible? And perhaps for the first time ever on the show, Josh explains it to Ben in a way that actually converts him to accepting Josh’s definition of what love actually is… and they agree on something! It’s a magical Valentine’s Day, and whether you’re happily married or forever-alone, we can all agree that Ben and Josh are adorable together! Does anyone still believe they’re not gay?
Friend of the show Aurora Snow has been very busy after her retirement from porn. Since we last spoke with her, she has been writing increasingly popular articles on The Daily Beast, as well as her blog. However, for the industrious Snow, this apparently isn’t enough. She’s been a panelist on MSNBC, she’s been working on a pilot with her fiance that aired on The Discovery Channel to record-breaking numbers, and in whatever time is left, she became a mom. Frankly, she’s making the rest of us all look bad. I can barely wake up every day and drag my sorry ass to work while slapping a half-hearted smile on my dumb face.
Some of the hilarious, fascinating and sex-themed subjects we discuss with beautiful Aurora Snow include:
- When penises just won’t fit
- How a fiance can sexually satisfy a porn goddess
- Creative and fun sexual ways to prepare for childbirth
- Pregnant sex
- Sexless life after childbirth
- Devices to help you poop in the woods
- Internet trolls and hate mail
- and A LOT more
Aurora Snow is our favorite guest- she is gracious, intelligent, honest, interesting, funny, sexy, beautiful- and we are always excited and grateful when she takes time to talk to us.
So, show her a little love in return and check out her articles, let Discovery Channel know you liked Gags to Riches, and follow her on Twitter for always interesting and unique tweets! Think of all the years she’s been giving you the greatest movies ever to jerk off to… don’t you think it’s time you gave something back? Besides a huge pile of used up tissues?